The voices got fainter and fainter the deeper I walked into the forest. Occasional laughter would ring out and bounce between the trees. They hadn't noticed. Or maybe they had and were letting me float off like I usually did. Only this time we were out in bush. I wanted to be able to find my way back, albeit also wanting to get lost. What a strange desire. To get lost. What did that mean? Why did I want to get lost? So they'd have to find me? A plea for attention? No. I think, I think I wanted to see what would happen. Testing the universe in some way. I sometimes have this feeling that there is a world out there we don't experience, precisely because we don't wander or let ourselves just - well - get lost. I mean, who just gets up and wanders? Wanders into the wild? No compass. No GPS. Who just - walks? I was probably Alice inspired, wondering if there was another world out there. Just the same way I would sit for hours and hours on end in the chicken coop. I'd shut the door behind me, and sit there as still as can be, waiting for the mice to come out. And they would. When they did, there was a whole city of them running to and fro. Picking up pieces of this, moving some of that. Greeting and meeting each other. Slipping into little holes and reemerging. A whole world. I liked to observe. Here I was, about the same time, wandering in a forest. I wanted to get lost. Surely there was something out here. Maybe not another world, but I just wanted to see what would happen. What would happen if I didn't follow the rules. Didn't do what was expected. Wandering off into the trees.
I'd walked quite a bit further now. I couldn't hear their voices anymore. Only the trickle of water nearby and the soft rustle of leaves in the trees above. It was colder here. Damp too. My breath even condensed in the air. Goosebumps rose and travelled from my hands up my arms, sending a shiver down my neck. Still, I walked. The ground was soft. Wet. Muddy. A mixture of moss and grass and mud. I came to a clearing and stood looking up around me. The trees were tall. "Cooee!" My voice echoed around. Some birds screeched and flew off out of their branches. A little voice in the back of my head started to pull. Asking me what I was doing - what I was planning to do. The little voice that said I wasn't prepared for a whole night out here. I looked around. Searching for anything. Waiting for something. I don't know how long I stood there for, but at some point there came a great crashing noise nearby. A wombat, I supposed. Or a kangaroo. To my astonishment and shock, a hunched old man came bashing through the shrubbery with a stick. His skin was weathered and hung off his cheek bones like melted cheese. He was wearing a hat, but it had long since lost its functionality. It drooped on each side, hiding his ears. Similarly, his clothes were falling to pieces. His eyes were distant. Coming into the same clearing, he stopped when he saw me. We stood there, staring at each other for a few minutes. He waddled closer and peering down at me with suspicion before demanding "who're you?!"
I told him my name and asked if he knew how to get back. He was still unsure of who I was wandering in his forest, but he nodded and walked forward with his stick propping him up. We hadn't walked 20 metres, when he turned around and prodded me with his stick. He then indicated down at a large beetle crossing the path in front of us. He looked up at me, and back to the beetle. Up at me, and back to the beetle. Pointing at it with his skeletal fingers. I didn't do anything, so he sighed, bent over and picked it up, holding it between his fingers. Its legs were moving wildly as it tried to escape its demise. The old man then let it walk onto his tongue, before I heard a loud crunching from inside his mouth. "Mmhmm." We continued on. Though, at some point the old man left me just as abruptly as he had appeared. I think he forgot I was there. I roughly knew the direction I was going in. A few metres in front of me, he whacked a bush with his stick and dived into the shrubbery. I heard the bush whacking and crashing until it kind of became the same sounds as the trees above and my boots squishing on moss and through mud. A laugh rang out through the trees, bouncing about and landing in my ears. Mum. About a hundred metres away I estimated. The air wasn't as cold, and the sun was breaking through. It shined down onto the forest floor in front of my feet. Which is when I saw it. A beetle. Quite large. And black. Scuttling over the forest floor, unaware of my presence. I squatted down, sitting just above the ground. I cupped my hand over it, to capture it first. And then carefully took it between my fingers. Thumb on its belly, index finger on its back. It was worried now. Head and body wiggling, legs frantically searching for solid ground. Bringing it closer to my nose, I sniffed it. Nothing. To my ears, I thought I could hear it quietly screaming. Were there more around? Did it have friends? Was it going somewhere, or was it just wandering? I sat there, staring at this beetle for a while. Another cackle made its way through the trees, tickling my ears. They were close by. I'd go back, in a moment. Sternly, looking into the eyes of this little creature. I apologised, opened my mouth, and let it walk onto my tongue. It scuttled around. Walking over teeth, the roof of my mouth and started down the back of my throat. Without even meaning to, my mouth was sent into reflex action. The tongue pushed it back into my mouth between my teeth and my teeth chomped down. It didn't taste great. I wondered if it was poisonous. But the old man seemed alright, so I assumed I would be. Swallowing, I searched for water. Something to take the taste out of my mouth. I walked back to the party instead. No one had noticed I was gone. Everyone was laughing, talking. I picked up a stray glass of champagne off a table, sat down next to our car a little further away and sipped it. No one noticed me drinking either. It was thick in some way. Not like lemonade. And the bubbles were smaller. They were perfect for removing beetle guts. Huh, beetle guts. I climbed into the car, curled up on the back seat and fell asleep. Only to wake up in the dark, with mum pushing me gently to say "we're home, honey. Come on. Did you have a good time?" They helped me down the stairs and tucked me into bed. I didn't tell them about the man. Nor the beetle and champagne. I knew then though, I knew that Alice was right. If you wandered off, things happened. Adventures happened. I smiled and slipped off into a dream.