Do you keep secrets? Have you ever done something crazy, and not told anyone?

I'm sitting here asking, because something whack happened on the way home the other night. I'm asking myself why I have the urge to tell someone. What happened to being satisfied just knowing it yourself? We share everything. What we eat, where we are, what we achieve, who we're with. I feel like we've all got our fingers in our ears, eyes closed and we're yelling at the top of our lungs "look at me! Look at me!" No one listening to each other.

I'm just wondering what has happened to the relationship with the self. There's so much clutter. Everyone wants to look busy, and perhaps everyone is keeping themselves busy so they don't ever have to stop and see what there is underneath it all. I can't speak for anyone else of course. That's true. All I can speak from is my own experience. I just feel like we're always trying to 'one up' each other. The stories, achievements and experiences. Look at me! Look at me! And if we don't post the amazing things we're doing, then we feel small compared to everyone else that's bombarding us with their great lives and successes.

There's a certain satisfaction, a nice buzzing in the stomach and a fulfilling wholeness, when you do something and keep it to yourself. A little secret. Or a moment enjoyed. Just like this sunrise. I was riding home and got completely taken by the beauty of it. I found myself standing at the edge just looking. Breathing. Existing completely in that moment.

Then there's the other side of it. That sharing experiences is even better. Connected. I'm not talking about those moments though. I'm not saying we should lock ourselves away. The experiences I'm talking about are the ones that happen when you are alone. It could even be something as simple as sitting reading the newest bestseller with your morning coffee, when a kookaburra swoops down and sits a metre away from you laughing. Is the natural response just to look up and enjoy the moment, or is it to grab the phone and take a photo or status "OMG..." on Facebook.

It's all this that makes me want to move to a little house in a beach town and spend the rest of my days living a simple life. If I disappear off the radar one day, I'm probably sitting on a verandah with a coffee, reading a book and enjoying the connection with random birds that swoop down to peck at the crumbs left over on the plate from lunch at my feet. I saw a poster recently that said "I MISS MY PRE INTERNET BRAIN." Ha.

And here I am having jotted down thoughts without telling you what happened the other night. So I'll walk away with that little adventure kept to myself and the satisfaction of knowing that I've got a secret.